Broken Bones End up Puncturing Your Heart
by Sos7
Summary: Finn's words unknowingly break Kurt's fragile heart.
1. Chapter 1

Title: Broken Bones (End up Puncturing Your Heart)  
Author: Pinch5  
Summary: Finn's words unknowingly break Kurt's fragile heart.  
Warning: Cursing, angst, male relationship, homophobia, suicide attempt  
Rating: M

Pairing: Puck/Kurt  
A/N: Finn never did the whole red skirt/suit thing in this world and never apologized. I now hate Finn with a passion.

Kurt sat down on the new couch as his father left the room. He felt hot tears slide down his cheeks and cursed himself. He cursed his weakness. He cursed his stupid brain.

He cursed himself.

Finn was right; he shouldn't try to stand out so much, he should ashamed of being gay. It wasn't something to be celebrated, not like a birth or graduation, it was wrong and all it did was get him hurt. Kurt looked at his bedroom and bit his lip. How could he have possibly thought this looked good? It was so flashy and feminine, what teenage boy should like this? He wasn't normal, he was such a fucking freak and now Finn hated him.

He hated himself too.

Kurt spent the rest of the day taking down all of the stupid, gay decorations and putting in things his father would like, a chocolate brown recliner, a TV, an old carpet, a lamp and a bed. It looked terrible in his mind but he knew that this is what a normal teenage boy's room should look like. Not like some gay shit from Martha Stewart Living.

Kurt moved all of his things up to the guest room on the 2nd floor, all the way on the far side of the house. Kurt set up his vanity before taking the mirror down. He was a boy and he should start acting like one, not like some kind of girl. He wasn't a girl.

Kurt sifted through the clothing he had stored in a box to bring up here in disgust. He now realized that everything he owned was indeed, really fucking gay. All the stupid colors, and he has spent so much money on clothes. What normal boy spent so much money on clothes and other stupid materialistic objects? He had to get rid of all these things. Half of the clothes he owned were meant for girls. That is disgusting.

He needed so much help.

Kurt ended up going to the mall and buying normal priced clothes for boys. No super tight pants, or brightly colored shirts, he was a boy; this is what boys wore. Kurt, all in all, had only spent 200$ on an entirely new wardrobe. In the meantime he bought some gray furniture for his room, to make it look a little more masculine. Kurt packed away all of his old expensive clothes and stored them at the back of his closet.

He would burn them later.

Kurt threw out all of his fancy face products, he should care about his skin, but caring this much about wrinkles was just stupid.

He was so stupid.

Kurt stripped out of his vest, stripped shirt, boots, and tight pants and stored them with the rest of his old clothes. He put on a loose sweatshirt and a pair of straight leg jeans before lying down on his new bed with a sigh.

He needed to be cured.

~!~

Kurt woke up to the sound of yelling. He blinked his eyes open and sat up, so sure that his hair looked terrible. He scowled at himself; he shouldn't care about his hair so much, it wasn't normal. He lazily smoothed it down with his hand before going downstairs to see what all the screaming had been about.

From his perch on the stairway he could see Carole screaming at Finn, no doubt upset about how her son had treated him. Kurt felt tears well up in his eyes before scolding himself for being a pussy. Normal boys aren't so emotional. Crying was gay.

He stepped down the stairs and put a hand on Carole's shoulder "Carole, it was my fault."

Burt and Finn's heads snapped up to his own, his father confused and Finn furious.

"I shouldn't have tried to force my ideas on him like that. I was being stupid. He can have the basement to himself. I moved up to the guest room."

Burt stood up and walked to Kurt. He put his hands on Kurt's shoulder and asked "What are you wearing?" It had been years since Burt had ever seen Kurt wearing normal boys clothing. Something was wrong, this wasn't his son, and this wasn't Kurt.

This scared him.

Kurt blanched when he saw the confusion in his father's face. Isn't this what he'd wanted when he heard he was going to have a baby boy? A normal son?

"I gained weight. I can't fit into any of my clothes. I don't have money to buy that fancy stuff anymore."

Burt immediately reached for his wallet but was stopped when Kurt spoke to him "Wait, dad."

"I don't need your money. I like dressing this way. It's fine."

Burt nodded, still confused about his son before turning back to the teenage boy on his couch.

"You can stay here, but if you say shit like that about my son again, you're out on your ass. Is that clear?"

Finn didn't bother answering; instead he took to glowering at Kurt from a distance. Carole slapped him on the back of his head, repeating what Burt had said.

"Crystal" He spat out.

Carole looked appalled at the disrespect her son was showing, but had no chance to call him out on it because he stood from the couch and stormed down into the basement, bumping Kurt into the couch on his way down.

Burt looked ready to shoot something and Carole looked ready to cry. They cuddled up to each other in silence.

Kurt left them alone, walking up to his new bedroom, depression weighing heavily on his shoulders. He curled up in a ball on his bed, clutching a pillow tightly in his arms. He sobbed into the pillow, the burn in his lungs and heart tearing him up. He needed to stop crying, this wasn't normal.

Boys don't cry over other boys.

~!~

The next day, Kurt woke up to a slice of sunlight flickering over his eyelids. He opened them and sat up, feeling horrible. It felt like he had swallowed a mouthful of cotton and he had gotten punched in the mouth at the same time. He felt sticky and sleepy in his day old clothes so he got up and took a shower. When he was done with his shower, he took a look at his digital clock. He missed first period. Kurt sighed and threw on a pair of blue jeans and another thin sweatshirt.

On the way down stairs he caught a flash of himself in one of the hall mirrors, he looked okay. There was no problem with dressing like a normal boy, he could live with it. Kurt got into his car and drove to school, seeing the football team waiting for him by the dumpster, Puck included. He guessed everyone heard about what he had done to Finn.

This is one dumpster dive he actually deserved.

Kurt parked his car and walked out with his normal, book bag. That stupid satchel thing he had at home was a purse and boys don't wear purses. He walked past the foot ball team and they didn't even respond until he was half way to the door.

"Hummel!"

Kurt looked behind him to see them running towards him. They all looked shocked and confused, like they had never expected Kurt Hummel, the fag, to dress like a normal boy.

"What the hell are you wearing Hummel?" A boxy black boy asked, it was the same guy who told him to stop dressing so crazily; isn't this what he wanted?

He was surprised at how docile and quiet his voice was when he answered "Normal clothes…like you asked me to wear."

The boys shot looks at each other, not actually believing a word Kurt said. One of them grabbed his book bag, dead set that Kurt had an extra pair of clothes in it. They dumped out the contents, only seeing dark colored books, pens and a binder.

"A-are, are you sick Hummel?" The question wasn't meant in a mean way, Kurt was dressing normally and acting like he was someone else, they just wanted to know.

Kurt dropped to his knees and began to pick up the fallen objects "Yes, I'm sick and I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I made the football team look gay and I'm sorry for making you guys uncomfortable with my stupid clothes. And I completely deserve to be put in the dumpster after how gay I was to Finn. I'm just really sorry."

Kurt picked up his book bag and took a look at the guys. They all looked shocked, they had no words. Kurt was apologizing to them? Shouldn't be the other way around?

Kurt looked at the boys forming a small semi-circle around him "Aren't you going to throw me in the dumpster?"

Puck walked up to him, he usually throws, but he only walked past and into the school. The other boys followed, looking completely ashamed as if a teacher had come out and found them around Kurt.

Kurt looked after them, confused. What had he done?

~!~

Kurt stood in front of his locker in disgust. All of those stupid decorations, all this glitter! It was so gay! Kurt dragged a trashcan under his locker and dumped everything out. His stupid mirror, his extra clothes, the frills, everything. Kurt checked the time on his watch; it was almost his lunch period.

He didn't want to go to lunch, not with Finn; he would just end up crying and looking like a little fag. Kurt wandered around aimlessly before he passed a pair of wooden double doors. It was the school library; he'd never been here before.

This would do.


	2. Chapter 2

Title: Broken Bones (End up Puncturing Your Heart)  
Author: Pinch5  
Summary: Finn's words unknowingly break Kurt's fragile heart.  
Warning: Cursing, angst, male relationship, homophobia, suicide attempt  
Rating: M  
Pairing: Puck/Kurt  
A/N: Finn never did the whole red skirt/suit thing in this world and never apologized. I now hate Finn with a passion.

Kurt sat down in one of the wooden chairs of the library in contentment. It appeared that even the smartest of students at this school strayed from the library like it had some kind of disease. Kurt liked the quiet; he liked the smell of musty books and the pretty Lily's the librarian had set up at the center of the desk he decided to sit at. Kurt put his book bag on top of his chair before getting up and wondering around the large library. Kurt figured that back in the day, this high school was full of intellectuals.

Kurt pulled out a book from the shelf, its soft blue cover inviting him. Kurt let his fingers roam over the book, 'Before Women Had Wings', and let out a small smile. He really loved this library. Kurt tucked the book under his arm and picked up a few more, 'The Bell Jar', 'Alternate Beauty' and 'I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings'. He walked up to the librarian's desk, a small old women smiling up at him.

"Are you checking out, hon?" She asked with a smile warm enough to bake cookies.

Kurt nodded with a small smile and gave the books to the women. He scanned the desk in search of her name, Wynonna.

"Can I have your ID please, hon?" She raised a wrinkled hand out at him.

Kurt nodded and gave his ID to her. In a few moments he had gotten his books checked out and Wynonna handed them back to him, along with his ID. Kurt gave Wynonna a smile, not as great as hers of course, and thanked her.

"Thanks, Ms. Wynonna."

A smile erupted on her face, the wrinkles evaporating, making her look years younger "Your welcome, hon."

Kurt walked back to his table and put 3 of his 4 books into his bag. He cracked open 'Before Women Had Wings' and began reading.

~!~

Before Kurt knew it, his lunch period was over and he had to go back to class. Kurt book marked his page and walked to the entrance of the library, waving good-bye to Wynonna on the way out. Kurt let himself get swept into the rush of teenagers to get to his locker as quickly as possible. He really didn't feel like explaining himself to any of the kids in Glee.

Oh, my.

He couldn't stay in Glee! It was an obvious indication of his homosexuality and plus Finn was there. He couldn't possible stand 5 minutes in his presence without breaking down and crying like a little bitch.

Kurt opened his locker and deposited his math text book into his bag before high tailing to class. Kurt slipped into his seat in the back of the room and tensed as he felt the burn of Finn's glare on his face. He snapped his eyes down to his desk, ashamed and guilty before taking out his binder.

Kurt glanced up as more students poured in, most of his friends not even recognizing him behind his mop of un-styled brown hair. Kurt glanced to his side Puck sat down and glanced at his other side as Karofsky did the same. Kurt stared down at his desk in shame, mentally preparing himself for the harassment he was about to endure. Karofsky and Puck always found a way to silently kick his ass in the back of the classroom; as if trying to beat the gay out of him.

He wished it had worked.

To Kurt's surprise neither Puck or Karofsky did a thing to him the entire class. Unless Karofsky asking for pencil counts as something, that was it. Karofsky even looked disappointed at the plain black pencil Kurt had placed in his palm.

Kurt was so confused.

When the bell rang, Karofsky and Puck walked out, shoulder to shoulder, shooting sad looks at him; looking incredibly guilty.

Kurt walked out of the door, hissing as his shoulder collided with the frame of it as Finn shouldered him out of the way. Kurt sent a sad stare at the retreating boy's back before ducking his head and walking to his locker.

Kurt swallowed as he saw Mercedes standing at his locker, waiting for him. Kurt walked a little slower, trying to prolong the meeting as much as he could. He stopped in front of Mercedes, who had dropped her purse, shock painted all over her features.

"Kurt! What are you wearing, you look horrible!"

Well, if that wasn't a self esteem booster.

"I got fat, and got some new clothes; it's not that big of a deal."

Mercedes leaned against his locker and let a smirk grace her face "You and Finn getting so cozy, you're sharing clothes now huh?"

Kurt swallowed down the bile threatening to spill from his throat however; he didn't stop the venomous words from sprouting past his lips.

"That's disgusting Mercedes. What kind of sick fuck do you think I am to steal Finn's clothes like that? I get it, I'm gay, don't you think I know that? Stop reminding me!"

Mercedes looked pale and ashen at his quiet outburst and lost the ability to speak.

Kurt cleared his throat and shut his locker. "I'll see you at Glee okay?"

He didn't wait for an answer.

~!~

When the final bell of the day rung, Kurt didn't wait, he packed his things as quickly as he possibly could, rushing to his car. He refused to go to Glee, anymore, it was just embarrassing. Kurt hopped in his car and drove home, surprised to see to Noah Puckerman sitting on his doorstep.

Kurt swallowed and parked his car. Was Puck so cruel to beat him up only a few yards from his safe haven? Kurt scanned his lawn and saw that Finn had come home early as well; confirming Kurt's suspicions.

Kurt retrieved his book bag from the back seat and began to climb out. He didn't miss the Cheerio's uniform in the back seat; he'd have to give that back as well at school tomorrow. Kurt walked up to his Puck, standing a few away from him.

For a moment or so Puck didn't notice him, until Kurt blocked out some of the sun in front of him. Puck looked up at Kurt, still surprised at his state of dress. Puck felt uncomfortable as he watched Kurt take a step back wards as he stood on his feet. Before he could get a word out, Kurt spoke and it confused him, and it scared him.

Badly.

"U-um. Before you hit me…can you avoid my face? I know it sounds really gay, but bruises on my face take weeks to go away and…"

Puck watched in confusion as the fabulous Kurt Hummel called himself gay. Everyone knew, but it sounded so terrible coming out of Kurt's mouth. He watched as Kurt babbled on, his face white as a sheet, his tiny hands gripping the ugly gray sweatshirt tightly.

"Shut up, Hummel."

Puck flinched as Kurt quieted immediately, snapping his gaze down to his scuffed sneakers. Where Kurt even acquired scuffed sneakers was beyond Puck. Puck rubbed a hand over his bald head and knew he had to state this delicately. For some reason Kurt Hummel had reverted into a scared white rabbit and one false step could send him running.

"The team needs your help."

Kurt looked up at Puck in confusion and tilted his head, they needed his help? Kurt was sure this was a trick; that the entire team was going to beat the shit out of him just for being gay. Kurt understood this, being gay was a defect, a problem, he needed to be stopped.

"Help? With what?" What could the football team ever need his help with; he was no good, he couldn't be useful for anything.

"We're all failing Spanish and you're Mr. Schue's best student. If we don't pass we'll get kicked off the team."

Kurt nodded slowly and walked to his front door "It's no problem; I guess…where do you want to hold the tutoring?"

Puck shrugged and let out a sigh "I dunno your house?"

Kurt gripped the strap of his book bag tightly and shook his head "I don't think that's a good idea, I mean, I wouldn't want to make you guys feel uncomfortable, being in the same room as me and all."

Puck narrowed his eyes at the way Kurt was belittling himself. Kurt was gay, not _diseased_.

Puck had the decency to look ashamed with the answer he gave Kurt "It's a little too late. They're already here."

Kurt's eyes widened and he snatched his hand back from his door knob as if it were on fire and backed away quickly. They were all in there? He had to leave; he didn't want to do this anymore!

Kurt turned to walk back to his car, trying to speed away from his house as quickly as possible when Puck grabbed his arm. Kurt slapped his hand away, a screech falling from his lips "Don't touch me!"

No one should touch him.

He was dirty.

He was disgusting.

He deserved to die.


	3. Chapter 3

Title: Broken Bones (End up Puncturing Your Heart)  
Author: Pinch5  
Summary: Finn's words unknowingly break Kurt's fragile heart.  
Warning: Cursing, angst, male relationship, homophobia, suicide attempt  
Rating: M  
Pairing: Puck/Kurt  
A/N: Finn never did the whole red skirt/suit thing in this world and never apologized. I now hate Finn with a passion.

~I'm making up names as I go along.

~Terri and Will are still married.

Puck snatched his own hands back in surprise and extreme confusion. He didn't know what he did, so he just stood there as Kurt slid into a crouch, both hands covering his face; shaking and pale. Puck swallowed and looked around for help, his eyes landing on the window in front of Kurt's house where half the football team was looking at him as if _he _had done something wrong. Puck waved them over, but they all shook their heads and ducked from the window.

Puck let out a silent groan, he was never good with comforting people and shit; he's never had a reason to. He crouched down in front of Kurt's huddled form and spoke to him.

"Ah, uh, I'm sorry…I didn't know you didn't like to be touched."

SniffleSniffleCoughCough.

"And, um, you don't _have_ to do this; we're asking for help, not forcing you."

Kurt finally responded, peeking through the slits of his snow white fingers and wiping his face with the sleeve of his sweat shirt. He stood and continued to scrub at his red and blotchy face mumbling 'sorrysorrysorry'.

Puck stood over Kurt awkwardly and stuck his hands in his pockets "So. Are you gonna help us?"

Kurt nodded a cheap, plastic smile over taking his features as he answered "Sure, sure, its no problem. Sorry for freaking out before just…"

"Don't touch you?"

Kurt nodded finally opening the door to his house "Yeah, just don't do that."

Kurt seemed to seize up and freeze at the sight of William McKinley High's entire football team. He toed off his shoes before addressing them "You…every one of you is failing Spanish?" Kurt found that hard to believe because at least 3 people on the team were actually Spanish.

Puck planted himself in the couch in front of the TV "Not exactly." He pointed to three boys texting on their phones "Those guys need help with English" He pointed a group of boys crowded around the largest chair "Those guys are failing art, and we are" He motioned to the two boys flanking his side "Need help in Spanish."

Kurt scratched his head in confusion "Um, okay then. On Mondays and Tuesdays I'll tutor you guys in art, on Spanish and English is on Wednesdays, Thursdays, and Friday is open for anyone who needs help."

"Is that okay with you guys?"

Everyone nodded and watched as Kurt walked past them and up the stairs. They looked at each before following him; looking like Marine troops. Kurt turned around and blanched when he saw that they were all following him "You guys can just wait downstairs, you know!"

At Kurt's suggestion, they all turned tail and went back downstairs, flipping on the TV. Kurt closed his bedroom door behind him, and flopped down on his bed. He grabbed a waste basket, put it in his lap and vomited.

~!~

Kurt grabbed his box of old clothes and hauled it down stairs and dropped it in front of the coffee table in front of the team. They looked at him in confusion before Kurt began to speak.

"Before I start the tutoring, I need you guys to do me a favor"

He waited for them to nod and continued "You have to burn this for me."

Everyone's eyes snapped to the box before Dave squeaked out "Is there a body in there?"

And that just brought a wave of paranoia

"Oh God, I think I can smell it rotting!"

"It moved, it moved! Holy fucking shit, man!"

Kurt rolled his eyes before opening the flap of the box and sighing "It's just a box of old clothes, please calm down."

The guys calmed down, coughing to cover their embarrassment. A lazy faced boy, Brian, put a hand to his lip in a questioning gesture "You want us to burn all those clothes? Isn't that….uh wasteful?"

Kurt thought about it and yes, it was very wasteful of him to burn these very useable clothes just because it makes him realize how much of a disgrace he is.

"Well, you are right Brian, so how about you guys take it?" At the sounds of disbelief and looks of 'are you fucking kidding me' shot in his direction, he cleared his statement up.

"Oh! I mean, you guys have mothers, girlfriends, sisters, or just females in your life right?"

Cue nods in unison.

"Well, you could just give this stuff to them. I have lots of jackets to give away; you can say it's a really expensive gift."

The guys realized that this was chance for them to get money, nookie, favors and 'you-owe-me-one's from the ladies in their lives.

Kurt dumped the box on the coffee table and the boys rooted through it, taking things that they liked and commenting on how pretty they were. Kurt inwardly scowled. Of course he knew how pretty they were, he bought them! He didn't know why he felt like crying while giving his clothes away; he was such a little bitch. This was his first step to recovery and he should be patting himself on the back for acting like a good boy.

The boxy black boy, Devon, threw back everything with a huff, well, more of an annoyed grunt then a huff and growled.

"All this shit is too small for my woman!"

Kurt rose an eyebrow at him "You have a woman?"

Devon looked down in embarrassment "Well…not yet."

Puck laughed at him "He's too afraid to ask her out! It's been like, 6 months! Its so sad!"

Devon threw a frilly scarf at Puck "Yo! Shut up man! I'm trying to get inside her head!"

"Or just inside her."

"I said shut up!" More frilly clothes being thrown.

Kurt rolled his eyes at the two boys who were now engaged in a clothing war and proverbially raised the white flag for both sides "Guys, guys! Look, Devon, I could probably help you get your special, whoever. What's she like?"

"She's a beauty. She has the skin of decedent hot chocolate and has a voice that makes angels weep."

Kurt's eyes widened at the confession of love before putting two and two together "Wow. You've got it so bad for Mercedes."

The loud chorus of 'what' that echoed through the room signified that Kurt was the first person to realize this.

"Damn. You guys really do need help; that is sad. Mercedes is the only black girl who sings and happens to be curvy. You guys are slow."

Devon looked like he would have been blushing if he had a lighter skin tone "Well, why don't you just give her this?" Kurt held up a platinum star pendant in front of his face.

"This is perfect, my woman loves shiny things!" It was true, Mercedes had an unnatural love for all things shiny.

"You should ask her out; she'll say yes for sure."

Devon nodded eagerly before getting up "I'm gonna go, I have to prepare."

Kurt nodded "You guys can go too; I really don't have anything prepared for tutoring right now."

The guys nodded before filing out of his house. Puck stopped at the open door and turned to Kurt, standing awkwardly in his presence. To Puck, Kurt was this mousy fighter. No matter what you did, he always bounced back up and started biting at your ankles. This was _not _the Kurt Hummel he was fine with. This new scared, cry-ee, palepalepale Kurt made him afraid for Kurt.

He hoped this wasn't his fault.

"Look, Kurt…I just want to say…uh, feel better, okay?"

Kurt nodded and smiled dully "Yeah, thanks."

Puck nodded back and walked out the door.

Kurt looked at the left over clothes he had on the coffee table. He guessed he would have to burn them himself.

~!~

Kurt woke up with his face plastered to a piece of loose leaf and the moon shining outside of his window. Kurt sat up on his bed and tore the sticky math worksheet off his face. He rubbed his tummy as it grumbled and headed down stairs for something to eat, thinking he was the only one awake at this time at night. He was surprised when he saw the bright lights of his kitchen on.

Thinking it was his father, having a midnight (3 in the morning) snack, Kurt walked in, but he definitely no prepared for what he saw.

Mrs. Schuester on her knees before Finn, sucking like her life depended on it. Kurt let out a loud gasp, before covering his mouth as Finn's eyes snapped over to him. He shoved Mrs. Schuester off his cock and glared at Kurt. stood and rearranged herself, wiping off the corner of her mouth; she also glared at Kurt, bumping his shoulder on the way out.

Kurt flinched as the door slammed behind him and as Finn walked over to him.

"You're not going to tell." He said simply.

Kurt swallowed down his fear and replied "But that's Mr. Schue's wife! How could you do that?"

Finn let out a short laugh, the apparent force sending his face to the side. His hand struck out and caught the side of Kurt's face, sending him tumbling into the counter and onto the floor.

Kurt put a hand to his stinging cheek and felt tears of pain roll down his face. Finn crouched down in front of him, a hand coming out to tangle in Kurt's wayward tresses.

"Look, Kurt, you need to learn not to stick your nose into other people's business. I mean, if you tell the school would be shocked to find out you're a whore."

"W-what?"

Finn looked wistful as he continued "It's the strangest thing, you being home alone with the football team, with you being gay and all, you probably got down on your knees for every one of them."

Kurt tried to shake his head as best as he could with Finn's hand wrapped around his head "No, no! I didn't!"

"Then you and I have an understanding right? If this gets out, no one will believe it's _not _true. Don't be stupid, and don't try to be the hero because usually the hero gets the girl, and with you, that's no possible."

Kurt winced as Finn's finger's tightened in his hair so he could guide his head into a nod. "Good. See you in the morning." Finn moved in as if he was to kiss Kurt on his now bruising cheek, but he stopped, just a breath away "I wouldn't kiss you if you were the last person on Earth, you disgusting faggot."

Finn threw Kurt's head away before standing up and walking to his basement room.

Kurt sat there, tears running down his cheeks, a bright red handprint of his face and vomited.

Finn seemed a bit too evil in this chappie.


	4. Chapter 4

Title: Broken Bones (End up Puncturing Your Heart)  
Author: Pinch5  
Summary: Finn's words unknowingly break Kurt's fragile heart.  
Warning: Cursing, angst, male relationship, homophobia, suicide attempt, **self harm  
**Rating: M  
Pairing: Puck/Kurt  
A/N: Finn never did the whole red skirt/suit thing in this world and never apologized. I now hate Finn with a passion.

~I'm making up names as I go along.

~Terri and Will are still married.

**SELF HARM/SELF HARM/ IN THIS CHAPTER.**

Kurt spent the rest of the morning icing down the side of his face and cleaning up his own vomit. Kurt tucked his long bangs behind his ear and went back up stairs to his room to take a nap; it was 6 in the morning now. When Kurt woke up again in was 9 in the morning and he felt terrible. He face was sore and painful and he was pretty sure that the left side of his face was an ugly dark purple.

Kurt sat up on his bed and gently ran a hand over the supposed bruise and felt a few tears escape his eyes in pain. Here he was crying _again._ It seemed that was all he ever did and he was fucking sick and tired of it! Why couldn't this just stop? He was trying his best to make everything better for everyone but nothing turns out right! Why can't he just stop fucking things up? Why was he so abnormal?

'_You disgusting faggot.'_

Kurt flinched as he remembered what Finn had called him last night. He really was a disgusting faggot; he had actually hoped in that split second that Finn would kiss him. He needed so much fucking help. Kurt got up from his bed and dragged his worn body to the bathroom so he could wash the sweat and tears from his face. Kurt sat down on the toilet and covered his face with his hands letting the tears escape freely. He sobbed quietly, twisting his hands in his own hair in pure sorrow and frustration. Kurt tore his lip with his teeth as he tried to stifle his cries by biting it. Kurt soon grew weary of his crying and stood from the toilet before stripping down and stepping into the shower. Kurt didn't bother changing the temperature on the water; it reflected how numb he was to the world.

Kurt stepped out of the shower as he saw his fingers begin to turn blue and shut off the pipes. He wrapped a towel around his waist, grabbed a face towel, and walked back into his room. He sat down on his bed and ran the towel across his damp face slowly, as if trying to stall for time. Kurt let the towel drop to his lap and sat there in silence, staring blankly at the wall wondering why he was such an abnormality.

Kurt swallowed back the sob threatening to burst from his throat and pushed back his wayward strands away from his line of sight. He stood and dressed silently, feeling tired and pained. Kurt checked his clock once more and saw that he had missed the first 3 periods of his day. Kurt sighed and walked towards his bedroom door but not before catching sight of himself on the small mirror on his desk. What he saw angered him beyond belief. He didn't see a person, no; he didn't see anything that resembled that. All he saw was a pathetic excuse for a human, wallowing in deserved self pity.

A fucking ugly, excuse for a boy.

A disgusting faggot.

Blinded with self inflicted rage, Kurt grabbed the mirror and threw it against the wall, a loud scream tearing through his throat. He breathed heavily, watching his cracked features from the shards of glass on the floor and slumped to the floor. On impulse he snatched a shard from the ground and put it in his book bag. He scrubbed a hand over his face before standing up and going through his bedroom door.

~!~

Kurt parked his car in the open lot silently. He sat in his car, his fingers pale white and clamped tightly on the steering wheel and breathed deeply. He had to get through the day; he just couldn't flip out like some fucking manic during the day. He needed to be in control, but _fuck _it was so hard! His eyes flitted about his car nervously for a moment or two before they stopped on something shiny poking out of his book bag. Kurt remembered what that was; the broken glass. He couldn't even remember why he had grabbed the stupid thing. Annoyed he unzipped his book bag and stuck a hand in, grabbing for the shard blindly. He snatched his hand back with a pained hiss when he felt something prick his finger.

Kurt held up his bleeding finger quietly, staring and basking in the pain. He stuck the finger in his mouth before gently removing the shard from his book bag. It glared back at him silently, the tip shiny with Kurt's blood. He watched his haggard cornflower blue eyes in disgust before rolling up his sleeve.

On cut couldn't hurt.

He held the point of the glass at the tip of his skin, close to piercing it before squeezing his lips into a hard line and slashing it quickly over his wrist. Kurt watched in disbelief as blood dripped from the cut and onto the floor below. Kurt swallowed as he shamefully felt the pressure from his chest being lifted as drop after drop hit the floor below him. He dropped the shard gently on the passenger seat and took out the first aid kit in the glove compartment.

He dried his cut and bandaged it before putting the first aid kit back. As he shut the glove compartment his took the kit back out, thinking he might need it during the day. He snapped the lid open and wrapped the shard in gauze, carefully and gently before putting it on top and closing the lid once more. He stashed the first aid kit in his book bag and finally stepped out of his car.

He stood shakily on the ground, leaning against his car for support. He swiped a hand across his forehead, catching the cold sweat rolling down. He straightened himself out and walked into the school, ignoring all the looks he got for the bruise on his face. He cursed silently as he saw Puck leaning against his locker, waiting for him.

Kurt walked up to Puck, hoping that his mop of un-styled hair would cover the bruise. Puck visibly perked up when he saw Kurt; rising up from the locker and wiping the bored look off of his face, the bored look was quickly replaced with a mix of anger and shock when he caught sight of the smaller boy.

Kurt looked like he had gotten into a massive fight. His hair was tangled and untamed; his eyes dull, lifeless and rimmed with red. There were spots of blood staining the bottom of his sweat shirt and that _bruise. _It looked fresh and incredibly painful. From where Puck was standing it looked like feat to be cracking a smile right now.

"_Fuck _Hummel, what the hell happened to you?" He couldn't stop the question from flying out of his lips.

Kurt stood there, slapped into a daze at the question.

"Nothing. Just…nothing."

Puck stared at Kurt as if he grew another head before gesturing wildly at the bruise on his face "That doesn't look like nothing! How are you even here today?"

Kurt felt a sour scowl crawl upon his face and he glared at Puck "Fine, if you don't want me here so badly, I'll just go home."

Kurt shot Puck another glare before turning on his heel and walking back outside. He was digging his car keys out of his pocket when Puck grabbed him by the shoulders and turned him around.

Kurt pushed Puck's hands off frantically and snapped at him "Don't fucking touch me!"

Puck snatched his hands back and glared at Kurt "What the hell if your problem Hummel? I'm trying to be nice to you and you're acting like a fucking primadonna bitch!"

Kurt turned back around to his car and tried to unlock it but his fingers kept shaking "I don't have to explain myself to you, Puckerman."

Annoyed and confused Puck grabbed Kurt's wrist tightly, twisting him around "Fuck yes you do! You're acting insane, what the fuck is _up _with you? Just tell me!"

Kurt ripped his hands away from Puck and shoved him away "Fuck off!"

Puck stumbled away and closed his eyes as he felt liquid splatter over his face. He vaguely questioned in the back of his mind if it just started raining but was blinded by anger, confusion and _hurt. _

"No, fuck you, Hummel! Fuck you and emo bullshit! I try to be nice to you and flip the fuck out! Fine, I'll go away, I'm done with this shit."

Puck walked away, not questioning the wide eyed panic written across Kurt's face.

Puck walked back into the school, not even turning around as he heard Kurt's car peel out of the parking lot. At his locker he was met with Karofsky and Azimio who turned to him wide eyed.

"Fuck man! We asked you to talk to him about tutoring, not _kill _him!"

Puck raised and eyebrow at Azimio and glared at him "The fuck are you talking about? I tried to talk to him, but he flipped out! I didn't even touch him!"

Karofsky and Azimio looked at each other before looking back at Puck "Shit, are you sure?"

"Why wouldn't I be sure?"

"Dude, you're _covered _in blood!"


	5. Chapter 5

Title: Broken Bones (End up Puncturing Your Heart)  
Author: Pinch5  
Summary: Finn's words unknowingly break Kurt's fragile heart.  
Warning: Cursing, angst, male relationship, homophobia, suicide attempt, **self harm****  
**Rating: M  
Pairing: Puck/Kurt

Puck swiped a hand over his forehead and felt nauseas as it came back sticky with blood. He pushed past Azimio and Karofsky and barreled into the boy's bathroom, scaring away anyone who had been in there before. Puck looked at himself in the mirror and swallowed, he knew this wasn't his blood; it _had _to be Kurt's. Meaning Kurt had come to school today _bleeding._ Any other time Puck would have made a joke about Kurt being on his period but something was so wrong. Kurt had changed and Puck somehow thought that this was his entire fault. All those years of constant bullying had fucked the boy up, Puck knew all about those kids who committed suicide because of shit like this. Puck couldn't let that happen. Puck grabbed a paper towel and ran it under some cold water. He scrubbed at his face, trying to figure out where Kurt had been hurt. While he and Kurt were arguing Puck had to admit he had gotten a bit physical. But Puck didn't think he grabbed Kurt so hard that it made him bleed, in fact Puck had only grabbed his shoulders and his wrist-

Puck dropped the wet paper towel as the horror of this situation sunk in. Puck had grabbed his wrist tightly and unless Puck had accidently let loose some talons, there had to be an open wound for him to actually splatter Puck with blood. Puck put his hands under the running water and scrubbed the blood from his fingers, he had to go see Kurt and do something, anything, Kurt needed help. He sure as hell didn't know what to do, but anything was better then letting something bad happen to Kurt. He _wouldn't _let that happen.

~!~

Kurt paced his room nervously and looked down at the inside of his wrist which was still tender from Puck had grabbed him. The slash on his wrist was still raw and awfully painful and the way Puck had snatched at him hadn't made it better. Kurt thought back to what had happened earlier today, and nearly cried. Why was Puck doing this? Why did he change so suddenly? Kurt just couldn't understand, why would Puck start caring about him? He didn't deserve it. Kurt swallowed and stopped his pacing. He just needed to calm down, but it was so hard. Kurt looked at his school bag near the door and felt a cold sweat break out on his forehead; he needed some relief. Just a little, it wouldn't hurt at all and this time he would do it in a place that no one would touch. Kurt sat down on his bed and opened his bag. The first aid kit was blaringly white, looking calm and peaceful. Kurt wanted to feel that way. Kurt quickly flipped the top open and saw the broken glass wrapped in gauze, lying in the middle. Kurt unwrapped it quickly and held the heavy glass in his hands. He felt himself becoming more nauseas the longer he held it. Kurt forgot about how he was supposed to cut in a place no one would touch and rolled up his sleeve.

Kurt bit his lip and slashed his wrist in the same spot and let out a sigh. Kurt never thought blood was fascinating before, but now as it rolled down his arm and soaked into the bed spread, he found he couldn't look away. Before Kurt knew it, an entire section of the light blue bed spread had been soaked in his own blood. Kurt groaned in frustration, how could let himself be so distracted?

Kurt used the dirty sheets to wipe off his arm before stripping it off of his bed and shoving it into the bottom of his hamper; he would deal with it at a later time. Kurt sighed as he saw that the blood had soaked through his sheets and onto the mattress, oh goodness, making himself feel calm and happy was becoming so very messy. He wondered if he should just stop then and there. The image in the sliver of broken glass told him otherwise, he needed this now more than ever, or he would go insane. This was best at the moment.

Kurt was about to go out to the hall closet and make his bed when he heard a car pull into the driveway. Kurt walked over to his bedroom window and peered out of it; it was Puck's pick-up truck. Kurt nearly fainted on the spot in sheer panic. This morning's confrontation flashed before his eyes and he turned away from the window as fast as he could. Oh no, the blood! All of that blood! Kurt looked at the stain on his bed and rushed to find something to cover it with. When he could find absolutely nothing in this unfamiliar room, he settled with throwing his pillow over it and hoping nobody sat on the bed. Kurt almost rushed down the stairs to meet Puck at the door, but stopped. Why would he let Puck in? So that he could interrogate him about what he did with himself? It was none of Puck business and it was going to stay that way whether Puck liked it or not.

Kurt sat with his back against the wall as the door rand repeatedly; he wasn't going to let Puck in. Puck could stay out there all day, he really didn't care. It was his life; Puck had nothing to do with it. Puck was his bully. Once Puck found out what he was doing, his pity well would dry up, because really, who would want to associate themselves with a suicidal faggot?

Kurt's thoughts buzzed around in his head long after the door bell stopped ringing. Those thoughts were so frantic and loud that he didn't hear the sound of the door being opened.

(Puck is a delinquent, picking locks is his thing)

Kurt snapped out of his thoughts when he heard someone thumping up the stairs. Kurt stood quickly, so he could run and lock the door, but he felt so dizzy and so heavy. Kurt tried to get to the door at the other side of the room, but he ended up flopping on the bed heavily, his arm knocking the pillow off of his bed. Kurt began to sweat in fear as his door opened slowly, Puck sticking his head in curiously.

Kurt wanted to scream at Puck to get out and leave him alone, but his tongue felt so heavy and dry, he couldn't move it at all. He watched in annoyance as Puck caught sight of him and started yelling. For some reason, Kurt could see his mouth moving, but all that was coming out was buzzing, like from a TV. He wished Puck would shut up; he wanted to take a nap. Kurt closed his eyes, hoping that Puck would be nice and let him take a nap in peace, but he was wrong because the next thing he knew he was being rolled over onto his back.

Kurt hissed in pain as he felt Puck slap him across the face. He opened his eyes and wanted to do something; yell, curse, hit, anything but he didn't know why he was just laying there. Puck was still talking, his mouth was moving, and Kurt really wished in this moment that he knew how to read lips.

Kurt turned his head to the side and caught sight of his arm.

It was still bleeding.

~!~

Puck was lucky to not get pulled over on his way to Kurt's house. The entire drive there, Puck couldn't help himself and kept seeing Kurt's face in the paper, suicide in the headline. Puck parked his car haphazardly in the Hummel driveway and caught a glimpse of a face running away from the window. Now he knew Kurt was home. Puck ran to the door and rang the door bell over and over and over. Puck didn't care how long it took; he was getting into this house. After the 20 minutes his spent trying to get into the house, the polite way, he decided to get inside on his own. Puck picked the lock as fast as he could before he shouted out Kurt's name into the empty house.

The quietness sent panic deep in Puck's chest and ran through the house checking every nook and cranny for Kurt. Puck wanted to find Kurt as fast as he could, every second he wasted looking was one less second Kurt had to live. Puck jumped down the basement steps calling out Kurt's name as loud as he could. He ran back up the stairs to the second floor and opened up the first door to his right.

Puck stopped breathing at the sight before him. Kurt was belly down on the bed, his arm covered in blood and soaking into the mattress. Kurt looked to be barely hanging on; his eyes barely open.

"Kurt!" Puck yelled, hoping to get some reaction out of him.

"Kurt, oh God, Kurt, get up!" Kurt laid there and closed his eyes, getting paler and paler moment by moment.

Puck wasn't about to let this happen. Kurt was going to wake up and get better and Puck would help him. Puck climbed onto the bed and cradled Kurt in his arms before slapping him as hard he could.

"Kurt, stay awake! Listen to me!" He yelled down at the boy in his arms.

"Kurt, just stay awake, just for a little bit longer, I have to call the ambulance, and get you help, just stay with me a bit longer."

Puck reached into his jeans pocket and grasped his phone with shaking, blood soaked fingers. He sucked in a breath as Kurt's head lolled to the side, his fingers twitching weakly. He dialed the three numbers as quickly as he could; shaking Kurt, to keep him coherent.

"Yes, I need an ambulance. My friend tried to kill himself." Puck didn't know he could say something like that some calmly, as if Kurt Hummel wasn't bleeding all over him, looking like a ghost. Puck rambled off the Hummel home address and took Kurt's face in his hands.

"Kurt, stay awake, I've never been to a funeral and I don't want to start with you!"

Kurt blinked at him owlishly before smiling a little.

"Ah…you're so…nice." Kurt grasped at his fingers as tightly as he could for a moment more before letting go.

Puck watched in shock as Kurt's hand fell to his side, limp and unmoving.

Puck shook Kurt as hard as he could, screaming for him to open his eyes. He didn't want to be the last person Kurt saw before he died. He didn't deserve it! The ambulance barged into the room with a stretcher, having followed Puck's screaming from the floor below. Puck watched numbly as the EMT's plucked Kurt from his arms and placed him onto the stretcher.

They rolled him out of the room, attaching wires upon wires, trying to bring Kurt back.

~!~

Kurt stared up at Puck as he spoke down at him, looking sad and confused at the same time. For some reason Kurt could never remember feeling this loved.

He smiled as best as he could, taking Puck's fingers in his own.

"Ah…you're so…nice." Was all that he could manage to say because his chest was becoming so tight and it was becoming so hard to breathe. Puck was beginning to look blurry, so blurry. It was beginning to hurt his eyes. Every time his blinked Puck was surrounded by black dots and Kurt didn't know why. Kurt closed his eyes, wondering why Puck was holding him so tightly. He wasn't going anywhere.

He wasn't going anywhere without Puck.


	6. Chapter 6

Title: Broken Bones (End up Puncturing Your Heart)  
Author: Pinch5  
Summary: Finn's words unknowingly break Kurt's fragile heart.  
Warning: Cursing, angst, male relationship, homophobia, suicide attempt, self harm  
Rating: M  
Pairing: Puck/Kurt

When Kurt woke up, everything was white. Kurt thought it was beautiful, everything was so white and pure and quiet. Kurt sat up and looked at his wrists, they were cut free. It was as if Kurt had always been so happy. Kurt stood and walked around finding nothing but white, until he saw a woman in the distance. He knew who it was, no matter what he always knew what his mother looked like. Kurt could never forget. Kurt began to walk towards her and stopped when he could see her clearly. She was crying, she looked so very sad and Kurt didn't know why. Why wouldn't his mother be happy seeing him here after all of these years? Was she upset because he had chosen to be a fag? He really didn't mean it; he would change if it made her happy again. He never wanted to see his mother cry. Kurt reached out and grabbed his mother's wrists and felt that it was slick and sticky. Kurt brought his hand up to his face and saw that it was bright red with blood. He looked up from his palm and saw that his mother was gone.

Suddenly Kurt was falling. Falling into a deep black abyss, with no one to hold onto to. His beautiful white wonderland had disappeared in a loud crackle and color burst from his eyelids. His body jerked as he hit the bottom of the abyss, twisting in pain. Kurt groaned in pain as he hit the ground hard, shaking all over. Kurt didn't like being here, his head hurt and he couldn't move. Kurt opened his eyes for a split second and saw colors all mixed together in some muddy brown puddle. It scared him. Kurt closed his eyes and hoped he woke back up with his mother. Kurt hoped she was okay; Kurt wanted to tell her that he was sorry, and he didn't mean to make her cry. Kurt seemed to always be disappointing people. Maybe he was born wrong; he wished this wasn't all his fault. He'd change, he would promise and he and his mother would stay and wait for his father. It would be like old times.

When Kurt opened his eyes once more, it was white. The thought that he had come back to his mother sent his heart racing. Oh, but then something was screaming in his ear and he hurt all over and Kurt didn't like it. Kurt looked around and saw a window, some plastic chairs and a desk. Kurt picked up his hand and saw an IV poked into arm. Hospital? Kurt was in a hospital. Oh, but why? Kurt wanted to go back and see his mother! Kurt sat up and brought his hands to his face in absolute misery. He was going to be so happy! But he was back now and he didn't want to be. Kurt let out high, long sobs, the sounds echoing through the Psychiatric ward. He didn't want to stay here, he needed to go, he needed to go right now! Kurt barely registered when someone pried his hands from his face and started asking him questions.

"Kurt, Kurt! What's wrong, what do you need?"

What did he need? What an awful, awful thing to ask. He needed what he couldn't have. He wanted to be dead. Instead of voicing his inner feelings, Kurt sobbed harder, letting little slips of mumbled words come out through the tears. Most of the words being 'mother' and 'going back'. Kurt jerked in pain as a sudden prick was felt in his arm. He watched as a nurse pulled away needle from his arm. He hated this place, with their awful people. They wouldn't understand how could they? His mother was special and she needed him, she was sad and alone and they were trying to keep them apart.

Awful…awful…people.

~!~

Burt Hummel stared at the small red bow tie in his hands. It seems so delicate and he was afraid he would ruin it in his harsh hand. His entire relationship was that in a sense. He loved Kurt to death; he would do anything for that boy if it meant that he was happy. He bought Kurt all of the clothes he wanted just to see him smile. Burt honestly couldn't imagine his life without Kurt being gay, he'd probably be dead. Kurt's extra healthy breakfast, lunch and dinners kept him off the heart attack route. Despite their differences Burt got Kurt. He understood him and for the most part, Burt thought Kurt trusted him enough to tell him when he was unhappy, so he could fix it.

Burt laid the bow tie back into the box that held most of Kurt's old baby pictures and the such. He put the box back on the table in his office with a sigh. He really should be getting to work. Burt picked up a rag and stuck it in his back pocket, hoping he could work with his hands and forget a little. Burt opened the door and stepped out, only to go right back in as the phone rang. Burt sighed and looked at the phone, deciding if he really wanted to answer it or not. He picked up the phone.

"Burt Hummel." He greeted shortly.

A young woman's voice was on the other line "Oh yes, hello. Are you the legal guardian of Kurt Hummel?"

Burt was confused, what had Kurt done?

"Yes, what is this about miss?"

Burt heard the woman sigh as if she were delivering very sad news.

"Well about an hour ago, Kurt Hummel was admitted to the Lima Hospital-"

Burt swallowed in shock and loosened his grip on the phone. The nurse on the line began to sound like white noise, and he felt the same sick, sorrowful shock he felt 8 years ago. Burt tightened his grip on the phone and asked as strongly as he could "What happened?"

"Kurt was admitted for a suicide attempt." The young woman was short and to the point.

Suicide. Burt hated that word. Burt had hoped that he would never hear that word if it had anything to do with Kurt. Kurt was different, and Burt didn't want anything to push him this far. It was his fault, Burt knew it was. Kurt was all he had left of his wife; he wouldn't be able to stand losing him. He couldn't do this.

"Is he alright?" Kurt had to be alright; Kurt was too strong to leave him like that. Kurt loved him too much to leave him alone.

"I'm sorry Mr. Hummel; this isn't something we can discuss over the phone. Kurt is staying at Lima General Hospital. Do you know where that is?"

Burt nodded numbly before realizing that she couldn't see what he was doing "Uh-, yeah, I do. Thank you for calling me."

"Your welcome."

Burt let the phone slide from his hand with a clatter. He slid slowly into his office chair and laid his head in his hands. Good God, his son was falling apart and he hadn't done a damn thing. Now, Kurt was in the hospital for trying to kill himself. Burt didn't want to have to lay Kurt next to his mother. He wouldn't have the will to go on without his little boy.

Burt wiped his damp face and got up. Kurt needed him.

Burt sped the entire way to the hospital and was luckily not stopped by any cops. He parked as quickly as he could and walked up to the main desk. As scared, sick and worried Burt was, his voice was strong as he spoke to the woman at the desk.

"What room is Kurt Hummel staying in?"

The woman looked through some papers before scrunching up her face in a small frown.

"I'm sorry sir, Kurt Hummel is currently staying in the psychiatric ward and isn't stable enough for visitors."

Burt swallowed and felt his shoulders slump. It was like the entire world was beating him down.

"Can I at least find out what's wrong? Can I speak with his doctor?" Burt was desperate for answers.

"Of course, Mr. Hummel, you can take a seat over in the lobby and I will call you when he doctor arrives."

"Thank you, miss."

Burt sat there, stewing in his miserable fear for an hour before Kurt's doctor could see him. Doctor Grimmer was an older man, with hair slightly graying at the sides and a happy smile. He stood next to Burt's chair and stuck out his hand.

"Are you Burt Hummel?"

Burt shook Dr. Grimmer hand and stood "Yes, how is Kurt?"

Dr. Grimmer let out a sigh and took in a big breath "Well, Kurt'

_Dr. Grimmer to psychiatric ward 10, Dr. Grimmer to psychiatric ward 10, code 7._

Dr. Grimmer looked alarmed before looking back at Burt "I think you're son has woken up again."

Burt looked confused, he had been here, sick with fear and had no answers "What do you mean? Wait! Where are you going?"

Dr. Grimmer quickly walked through the double doors, Burt hot on his trail. Without stopping, Dr. Grimmer addressed Burt "I think you should go back to the waiting room Burt."

Burt shook his head "No! I want some answers damn it! Kurt is my only son!"

Dr. Grimmer huffed and walked through hallway after hallway before going through another pair of double doors where a group of nurses gathered about.

Dr. Grimmer pushed through the group and barked "What the hell is going on here?"

His answer came flying through the glass of one of the double doors. Everyone ducked as the glass shattered.

"Jesus Christ!" screamed Dr. Grimmer before pushing through the double doors.

Kurt was on the other side of his bed, holding a metal tray of needles, scalpels and other medical materials. Kurt looked completely feral, his wrists bleeding down onto the white floor around him. Kurt had ruined the room. He had flipped over the bed, thrown a plastic chair at the window, cracking it in half and there was blood everywhere. Kurt had ripped off his bandage and bled everywhere.

Dr. Grimmer walked slowly into the room and put his hands out in front of him "Kurt…Kurt, what's wrong?" he tried to say as quietly as possible.

Kurt babbled uselessly, all of the blood loss slamming into him as the adrenaline rush left him

"Lemme go back. Take me back, I dun wanna stay here…please, not anymore. Dun leave me here, no, no."

Dr. Grimmer nodded as if he understood what Kurt was babbling about "Alright Kurt, we'll take you back, just put down the tray, and come here."

Kurt stared down at the tray before looking blankly at Dr. Grimmer. Kurt dropped the tray with a loud clang and walked slowly to Dr. Grimmer.

Dr. Grimmer held his hand out to Kurt with a gentle smile. Kurt looked blankly at Dr. Grimmer and stopped when he was a few feet in front of him. Dr. Grimmer smiled and nodded his head.

"Come on Kurt, we need to fix those nasty cuts."

Kurt's face suddenly twisted into a mask of rage and he ran at Dr. Grimmer. Dr. Grimmer went down with a cry of pain. Kurt let out loud wails and kept his hands tight on Dr. Grimmer's throat. Kurt squeezed as tight as he possibly could even as a multitude of nurses fought to pull him off. Kurt kicked and screamed as he was drug out of the room, not even taking notice of Burt.

Burt watched a stranger be dragged out of the room. Burt didn't know this person. This wasn't Kurt, Kurt would never do this. Kurt would never commit suicide.

Where had his baby boy gone?


	7. Chapter 7

Title: Broken Bones (End up Puncturing Your Heart)  
Author: Pinch5  
Summary: Finn's words unknowingly break Kurt's fragile heart.  
Warning: Cursing, angst, male relationship, homophobia, suicide attempt, self harm  
Rating: M  
Pairing: Puck/Kurt

Kurt cried quietly on the bed he was strapped down to and struggled weakly to get out. He didn't want to be here, he was doing a good thing. Didn't they all say they wanted him to die? So why wouldn't they let him do it? Kurt was so happy too, it felt like the world had disappeared and all that was left was silence. He really liked that.

Kurt felt more hot tears of frustration roll down the side of his face as his arms protested any more movement and flopped uselessly beside him. He wanted to go home and sleep in his bed, he wanted his dad. When was his dad going to come get him? Kurt swallowed and felt himself being swallowed by darkness once more. Maybe this time, the darkness would keep him.

~!~

Kurt cracked his eyes open as he felt soft murmurs roll across his body. Kurt frowned as the fuzzy faces of people in scrubs surrounded him. No flannel. No dad. Kurt raised a hand weakly to get the attention of the people standing around him. They all took a step back, as if afraid. Kurt let his hand fall back on the bed beside him before crying again. God, they didn't even want to touch him, how disgusting was he?

"Please…please, where's my dad?"

Kurt heard nothing but the soft sea of murmurs once more and felt the tears multiply. He just wanted to see his dad, why wouldn't they let him? He hadn't done anything wrong. Kurt felt the warm hands of darkness pulling him in again and he didn't resist.

~!~

Kurt woke again to the sound of his father's gruff voice.

"…have to do something…can't just keep him locked up…crazy…my son!"

Kurt swallowed and opened his eyes as best he could for his dad, just for him.

"Daddy?"

Kurt hoped it wasn't his voice that sounded so awful, wasn't his. His dad deserved the best for putting up with him all these years. And now when Kurt finally tried to give his father a way out; a perfect family with Carole and Finn, he fucked it up. Just like everything else he tried to do.

Kurt smiled as best as he could when his father stood over him, worry lines etched deeply into the sides of his mouth. Kurt closed his eyes with a happy smile when Burt grabbed his hand tightly, putting both their hands over his warm heart.

"Hey kiddo, how're you feeling?"

Kurt let out a breath and rubbed his fingertips into his father's worn flannel shirt.

"I'm really tired daddy. I wanna go home with you, though. When will you take me home?"

Kurt opened his eyes as Burt kissed his knuckles gently before cupping the side of his swallow face.

"As soon as possible buddy. You have to promise me one thing before I go talk to the doctor."

Kurt held his father's warm hand against his face with his own pale fingers and looked up at him.

"What?"

Burt made a pained face as he rubbed his thumb over the apple of his son's once full cheeks.

"You have to promise me that everyday I leave, when I come back you'll still be here. Not with your mom."

Kurt stared up as his father for a long moment before nodding.

"I promise daddy." He held out his pinky weakly and gestured to his father.

"I pinky promise daddy, just like before right?"

Burt nodded and fought back the tears of pure relief from rolling down his cheeks as he curled his own rough pinky against his son's.

"Pinky promise kiddo. Just like before."

Kurt smiled and burrowed his face into his father's strong shoulder as Burt pulled him into a hug. Together they stayed, locked in a hug neither willing to let go.

~!~

When the warm hands of darkness called out to him that night once more, he told himself that he couldn't stay this time. As pretty and peaceful as it was he had pinky promised his dad. Burt had never broken his pinky promise, he wouldn't break his.

_8 years ago:_

_Kurt cried into his hands, door wide open to the world. He had come and called out for his daddy, but his daddy didn't come. He'd probably left to be in the ground with mommy. Kurt didn't know why he would do that. Didn't he love Kurt? Kurt loved him, he loved him so much that he wouldn't know what do without his daddy._

_Who tie his shoes?_

_Who get him the magazines from the top shelf of the library?_

_Who would make him yummy snacks every afternoon?_

_Who was gonna love him as much as his daddy?_

_The thought of having no one made Kurt cry even harder, not taking notice to the car pulling up in the driveway and the sound of foot steps coming up the walk way. Kurt did take notice of big hands pulling him up in the air and hugging him close to their body._

_Kurt let out a relieved wail and cried into his father's shoulder, getting snot and tear into the strong shoulder. Kurt's sobs soon turned to quiet whimpers and a trickle of tears before no tears fell and sniffles were the only sound heard in the quiet Ohio home._

_Burt sat down on the couch and cradled his little boy in his lap, completely confused to why his son why crying himself to death in the doorway of their home. He rubbed Kurt's small back waiting for his son to calm himself down._

"_It's alright, Kurt. What's wrong?"_

_Kurt sniffled and ran the sleeve of his shirt under his nose._

"_You weren't here when I got home."_

_Burt patted Kurt on the back as tears began to wet his eyes again._

"_I'm sorry buddy; I forgot something at the shop. I tried to get home as quick as possible, just for you baby boy. What about that got you so upset hmm?"_

_Kurt buried his face into his father chest and began sob loudly once more._

"_I-I thought you went to stay with mommy, c-cuz you love her more then me and you leave me all alone and let the monsters get me and-"_

_Burt rubbed Kurt's firmly trying to quiet down his rambling. He knew Elizabeth's death would hit him but he didn't know that Kurt would be so afraid; he was so peaceful at the funeral._

"_Kurt, I would never leave you like that. I love you and your mother equally, I would never hurt you like that, Kurt, __**never.**__"_

_Kurt wiped his eyes and stared up at his giant of a father and sniffled loudly again._

"_Promise?" Kurt asked quietly._

_Burt smiled down at him before ruffling his soft brown hair._

"_Promise, kiddo."_

_Kurt held out his pinky and stared up his father expectantly._

"_Pinky promise, daddy?"_

_Burt wrapped his pinky around his son's and let a small smile grace his worn face._

"_Pinky promise kiddo."_


End file.
